Wednesday, September 07, 2005

2 months

Yesterday we got word that the doctor told my grandma she only had 2 more months to live. I am going INSANE trying to figure things out about what I am going to do. I fly out next Friday after class only to return Sunday night. I guess my biggest fear is her dying and me not being able to make it there because of college. Which, I WILL be going to her funeral bc I'm the one who is wanted to speak there and I WILL do that for my grandma. I'm just worried that some of my teachers won't be that understanding and I'll get bad grades or something. My Music Appreciation teacher especially. He seems like a big jerk. I guess I can always withdraw from his classes if he tells me I can't go. He seems like that type of person. Today he talked about how someone's brother "suddenly dropped dead" and he didn't know if they were able to perform at the next music concert. What a morbid thing to say.

Anyways, I'm still praying for my grandma. It's really hard on the family. All in all, I know God has to take her sooner or later so I hope she doesn't suffer and she at least goes peacefully. It's just hard to imagine my life without her. Like on my wedding day or when my first child is to be born. It makes me sad because she never got to become a great grandma and she's still so young. Only 60 something. You're not old until you hit 90 haha. Oh well, I'm trying not to think about it too much because it makes me too sad.

School is going good. I have my first test Friday! It's in Algebra! I think I'll do pretty good. It still seems like highschool to me in many ways. I love my English class! I have so many friends in that class from highschool. And it was a total accident. It's pretty excellent. And I'd honestly have to say my English teacher by far is my favorite! And I'm not just saying that !!

I wish I would win the lottery for 60 million $ ! I would still go to college even if I did. I'm completly rambling now so I'm going to get off here.-


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